Bust Out of a Rut!

If there is anyone who’s never felt down in the dumps I’d like to meet them. I think all of us, at some time or another, have felt a little sad or a little stressed. Whether we felt like we needed something new in our lives, a break from some of our responsibilities, or just a really good nap, sometimes “busting out of a rut” was not only good, but necessary.

The Daily Grind

While not all of us work the nine to five, most of us have things that we have to get done each day. Barring the college students who don’t work on their summer break or some of the pre-pubescent kids whose only responsibility is to keep track of their kill count on the latest video game, most people in this thing we call life have certain tasks to get done. Every day.

Unfortunately I can’t classify myself as a carefree youth. No, I can’t always play the hottest new video game where I get to smash cyborgs with a battle axe that emits lasers.(Not that I’d want to, although lasers are pretty cool) At the same time, I can’t always watch the current top rated reality tv show that I find amusing. (not that I need to, but it does make me guffaw so loud the neighbors can hear) No, I can’t do either of those two things. Why is that you ask? (to the boy in the back holding the Playstation controller) Well son, I have responsibilities.

Pick your Difficulty Level

While you probably won’t find me hunkering down on the couch next to one of these little video game aficionados inquiring about two-player mode, I do get psyched up by other things. And I will say this: in life we can pick our difficulty level…or at least modify it a bit. Now, some of the really cynical son of a guns out their might argue with me. They might say that they were dealt a bad hand or that they grew up on the wrong side of the tracks (as they imbibe their liquor of choice contained inside of a brown paper bag) In response I would first ask how they got here, reminding the security guards that this is a private meeting, and asking them to remove the homeless fella in the back of the room. (if you’re homeless I mean no offense, although I’m wondering whose WiFi you stole to read this – oh, and whose computer….) But I’m digressing. Let’s get back on track. In all seriousness, here’s what I think. I think that people are born into a certain family with a certain lot and sure, that has an effect on where you end up in life. I think it it’s effect is generally arbitrary and feeling sorry for yourself will get you a nice box in some cozy alley way quicker than growing up poor. Hell, you could be born into the richest family on the planet and, with the right attitude (note extreme implied sarcasm here) end up on the streets. But that isn’t what this post is about. I’m only trying to impress upon people the importance of attitude. Attitude contributes tremendously to the opinions you form about the world at point A, and also how you deal with life’s events somewhere down the road at point B. In the game of life, you pick your difficulty level with your attitude. This choice can help you or hurt you when you are in a rut.

Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced

Every single person on this planet can assign one of the above designations to some element of their life. Are they an accountant just starting out? Beginner. Are they ten years old playing their first season of little league? Beginner. What about the fifty year old who just retired and picked up golf? That’s right, he’s also a beginner. And of course the high school kid who is graduating from JV to Varsity soccer – well, he’s intermediate. So is the scholar who is done with his or her undergraduate studies and preparing for a master’s degree. As for advanced? Well, for one you might have the toddler who is almost fully toilet trained. She might be considered an advanced diaper wearer. And the tennis pro down at the local country club? You got it,advanced. Even the “artist” who is at this very moment tagging a building downtown with his unique signature is advanced. Sure, he might get arrested if caught, but he is still advanced in what he does.

So, really every person will usually have some of those designations. In what they do or who they are, they are always classified this way. They may even do the classifying themselves, especially if there is no one else there to do it for them. (the video game kid might be an example of a self-classifier) While the labels and descriptors that we have are good, they are not the most important variable when it comes to dealing with tough times or facing unforeseen challenges.

Stress not Stature

When it comes to facing difficulties – and then overcoming them – it is more important to think specifically about the problem you are facing then to consider your station in life and whether or not this problem is commensurate with your current standing. This may seem hard to understand so let me explain further. What I mean is that we are all faced with problems whether we are an advanced lawyer or an advanced toilet trainee. It is more important to think about what the problem means to us, than to objectify it by saying that we shouldn’t have to deal with or that it should plague some other type of person. Let me give an example. On one side of town we have a company exec who is having trouble sleeping. He is worried about the court proceedings surrounding some dishonest act he committed while serving as Vice President for some corporation. The point is, he is tired and anxious. Now, on the other side of town there is a young child who is also having trouble sleeping. This child forgot to complete his homework for the next day’s kindergarten class. He is hoping that he can feign illness in the morning and avoid facing his teacher and peers. He is also anxious and tired.

åNow, even though the company exec is much older than the child and has long since completed kindergarten, (we hope) he is feeling very much the same as the young boy. Even though he is an adult and has, we assume, a certain level of wealth and status, he is still tired, just like the boy. So, while these two people are at very different stages of life, and have very different stations, they both feel a similar stress. The point is that stress can be the same regardless of differences in stature. Here’s why this is important:

Different People, Similar Problems – and Solutions

The above example of the child and older man is important because it illustrates that people can have similar problems even if they are very different. In fact, most of the time, people’s problems are similar. It is simply the cause of those problems that is different. What’s important though, is that the solutions are often the same.

Let’s think again for a moment about the daily grind. What that term means for your doesn’t matter too much, it’s going to be different for everyone. Let’s just assume though that whatever you do during the day causes a certain level of stress. Now, not all stress is bad, a little is good, haven’t we heard that before? Yea, yea. But think for a moment about what a really bad day means to you. Or even a really bad week or month. How do you feel? I’m going to assume there are a mixture of feelings. They might be things such as: tired, stressed, apathetic, anxious, bored, exhausted, depressed, angry, sad. So these feelings aren’t fun. We’re going to go ahead and make that clear. What also needs to be made clear is that there are things that you can do to feel better and bust out of the rut. Here are a few:

Listen to music – how bad do you really feel? Is it bad enough that throwing on your favorite album or just listening to your favorite song won’t make you feel at least a little bit better immediately? Chances are, it will help. Music will take your mind off of what you are currently dealing with and sometimes it can even transport you to another time and place such as the first time you heard the song. Your favorite music also has a way of taking you to a really relaxed state because your brain is conditioned to react in a positive way to something that it has decided (and knows) it likes. If you are stressed, sometimes relaxing music with tempo that is similar or slower than your heartbeat can help you decompress.

Visualize – how often have you been told that if your dreams make your reality? While no one can say for sure whether or not this is true, it does give you a little more motivation to spend some time in focused meditation. Personally, just as with some other things, I find the hardest thing about visualizing is actually doing it. While the idea of visualizing can mean different things to different people, for the purpose of decompressing, it refers to retreating into a relaxed state where your breathing is controlled and your thoughts are only focused on the positive. When some people visualize they simply envision in their minds being in a positive, inviting environment such as private beach or tranquil forest. Other times visualizing can be used as a powerful tool during which you focus only on what you want or want to become. For instance, if you wanted to win an upcoming race, you might visualize yourself doing it. Or, on the other hand, if you wanted to get out of debt or get rid of a sad feeling, you would visualize yourself being rich and happy, respectively.

Find a Friend – we all know that having people in our life who we can turn to is important. Sometimes, though, it is good to have someone who you can simply hang out with. While talking about your problems can be a solid way of overcoming those obstacles, just enjoying someone’s company in a way that allows you to forget, if momentarily, your troubles can be just as good. If you know your buddy is a good listener and understands what you are going through, than it might be a great idea to mention some of your issues to him or her. Or, on the other hand, if your problem is simply that you get bored on Sundays and this boredom is driving you mad, find somebody to help squash that growing love for racquetball that can’t be consummated without a teammate.

Reassess your Goals – sometimes we get down on ourselves because we set our expectations to high. I’ll be the first to admit that this can cause a tremendous amount of stress. By the same token, not setting your goals high enough can cause boredom, and at worst a sense of emptiness. This may mean that you have to find your goals (if you have them written down) and rip the paper into pieces and then start from scratch. The key is to find goals and standards that match your abilities. Set your goals too high and you’ll experience anxiety and stress. Set them too low and you’ll be bored and maybe even become apathetic about other things. The point is we need challenges, but not impossibilities. (I’m not going to set the guidelines on what is impossible, but goals should be thought of as realistic challenges) So, if you’re just learning the guitar, don’t tell yourself that you should be in a top 40 rock band by the end of the year. By the same token, don’t be satisfied if you can’t play your favorite song after 12 solid months of practice.

Take Time Off - what is it that you like to do? What do you hate? Do you love working out but hate work? Maybe you don’t mind work, but just hate to work out. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife is getting on your nerves. There can be a lot of maybes and what ifs, the goal is to find what you hate doing, what really gets your goat. Then find what you enjoy, something that you really love to do. Then quit both at least for a few days if you can. If you hate working out but do it every night after work, then take a break. By the same token, if you have been working sixty hours a week for the last five weeks, find some time to workout – or even catch up on your sleep, whichever is more necessary. Take a week’s vacation if possible. You don’t have to go anywhere, just step outside of your normal routine. For people whose daily lives are totally scrambled, this means getting a routine. If you are unorganized, than get organized. If you are busy then get lazy and if you are lazy then get busy – doing something. The whole idea is simply to change your ways for a short while, if only a few days. Not only can it help you decompress or find zest for life that you forgot you had, but it will give you time to think about other ways to bust out of your rut.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 18th, 2010 at 6:10 am and is filed under Growth & Productivity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.